Funny Statuses

I thought I'd try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I'm still incredibly stubborn.

When I say "I cleaned my room", I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.

This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.

If the Olympics were more like the Hunger Games I think I might actually watch.

I do 5 sit ups every day. It may not seem like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button.

I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there...

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a douche.