Funny Statuses

#15946
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Xyuppi
I'm paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
#16114
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Xyuppi
Time heals all wounds...unless it's infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
#16177
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Florida
I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then, I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine...
#16178
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Xyuppi
When will my neighbor's dog ever get the hint that my leg just wants to be friends?
#16193
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Xyuppi
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
I plan on teaching my kid about taxes at a very early age by eating 36% of his ice cream
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