Funny Statuses

#3812
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Denise
Help wanted: Local club seeking experienced comedian. Serious applicants need not apply.
I am trying to give Kim & Kanye their privacy. I just wish they would accept it.
I treat my body like a temple. A Temple of Doom, but a temple nonetheless.
#4131
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Amigo
Impotence is nature's way of saying "no hard feelings".
#4277
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Robert Zunick
Bum fighting + Pay per view = A lot less homelessness
I prefer the term "personal lint trap" instead of belly button.
Everything’s bigger in Texas. That's why I do all my sexting there.
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