I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
Friday: My second favorite F word.
I'll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
Amigo
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
If ninjas are supposed to be so super stealthy, why do they bother wearing a mask?
Amigo
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus.
Amigo
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.