I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I'm going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
Jon
Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.
Cyberbilly
I have to be careful with my kids when I talk about the death of their father. It's a sensitive subject and I don't want them warning him.
Florida
"Thank God! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
“Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
Caterpillars have it made. They eat a lot, go to sleep, then wake up beautiful.