Using Latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi.
WARNING PLEASE READ - I don't usually repost these but... If someone comes to your front door and asks you to remove your clothes and dance with your arms in the air, DO NOT do this, it is a scam, they just want to see you naked. Please copy and paste this to your status - I wish I had received this yesterday. I feel like an idiot now...
Dear facewash commercials, People don't actually splash their face like that. Sincerely, my bathroom floor is now soaking wet.
It doesn't matter how many times you looked, when your mom looks, she will find what you were looking for.
The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.
Michael Mendoza
I keep setting my DVR to record "the biggest loser", but it keeps recording Oakland Raider games.
Anyone else find it ironic that they stopped making NeverEnding Story movies, but there's no end in sight for Final Destination movies?