Yes. There is a hole in my sock. If there wasn't, how would I put my foot in it?
Alcohol doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean...against walls, doors, tables, and complete strangers
I'm actually glad my boyfriend dumped me. Now, I'm hooking up with 2 guys... Ben & Jerry.
Facebook makes you hate people you already know and Twitter makes you love people you've never met.
Deleting cookies from my browser history is fine but I'd rather delete cookies from my eating history.
They're eating scorpions on Fear Factor. If they pass this round it's onto my mom's fruit cake.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water.