Funny Statuses

#17324
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Xyuppi
I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.
#17406
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Xyuppi
‪instead of a condom, carry a moist towelette in your wallet. You run into chicken wings a lot more offer than sex. ‬
#17413
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Xyuppi
‪Im doing crunches twice a day now. Captain in the in the morning and Nestle in the afternoon ‬
#17437
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Xyuppi
I am trying to get into the Christmas "spirit" but can't get the bottle open...
#17445
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Xyuppi
Does anyone in this group know of an old couple or even a single old lady or man who will be eating alone this Christmas? I am having friends and relatives over and need to borrow a few chairs.
I can’t wait for next week when the gym is empty again.
Somewhere in the world Howie Mandel is walking around with full body Hazmat Suit.
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