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#3222
Cyberbilly
Heat causes things to expand, so I'm not fat; I'm just hot.
Funny
190
Insightful
32
WTF?
55
GTFO!
51
#3231
Cyberbilly
I just found out I passed my drug test. My dealer has some explaining to do.
Funny
174
Insightful
16
WTF?
28
GTFO!
35
#443
I consider myself fairly well-spoken until I have to leave a voicemail and all of a sudden the only thing I'm fluent in is verbal diarrhea.
Funny
147
Insightful
14
WTF?
5
GTFO!
9
#2069
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships do.
Funny
179
Insightful
23
WTF?
37
GTFO!
41
#2496
The last time she got 100% on a test it involved peeing on a stick.
Funny
193
Insightful
27
WTF?
76
GTFO!
55
#2738
I wouldn't ever want lesbian parents. I'm not homophobic. I just don't want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
Funny
175
Insightful
14
WTF?
35
GTFO!
37
#2779
Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person says: hi
Funny
195
Insightful
21
WTF?
57
GTFO!
57
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