Funny Statuses

#16596
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Florida
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
You matter! Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared...then you energy.
I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I'm in whey over my head.
I don't care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
T-shirts should come in a size between XL and XXL called "I'm still hoping to turn things around"
Baby gates are parents' way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
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