Funny Statuses

All this tagless clothing makes getting dressed in the dark nearly impossible.

There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.

I was going to give you a dirty look but I see you already have one!

You know you're old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.

The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?

Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I'm quite happy to be have been such a failure.

I'm a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don't care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.