Funny Statuses

I was NOT taking a selfie. I was showing off my new bathroom mirror!
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
#6430
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Cyberbilly
Dear God: Please let Jerry Jones say something racist. -The Dallas Cowboys
#6454
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Aaron Powell
History repeats itself everytime you say that quote.
I wish there was a way to tell which Google searches were typed with the most urgency. I bet "icy hot on groin" would be pretty high up there.
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