Why doesn't someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?
This Labor Day let’s celebrate all the work we successfully avoided this year.
My wife thinks I can read minds. Well, she hasn’t said it out loud yet.
Does the government shutdown mean we can start looting? Asking for a friend.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin. Muffins are considered a healthy breakfast.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
I had a dream last night that I could see without my glasses or contacts. It was an optical delusion.