When you're a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you're an adult, they're considered immature.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons!
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca's third dog.
Xyuppi
I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
At work, sometimes I secretly brew decaf coffee in the normal pot so that everyone else works at my pace.
Xyuppi
I don't know who I feel more sorry for.. myself for never being able to find where I parked my car?.. or the poor bastards following me through the parking lot hoping to take my parking space...