Chatty kids always sound like they're reading from a book of Mad Libs.
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
I hate when men's restrooms have no urinals and a bunch of women in them.
"Mommy, can I lick the bowl?" "No, you can flush the toilet like normal kids."
I'd say I'm not a morning person but I'm really not sure I'm an evening person either.
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
uʍoɹɟ ʇɐɥʇ