When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just find it strange how many people have knives on a date.
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you got screwed to achieve it.
Cyberbilly
I am sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights and save the environment. The last time I did that I ran over a cyclist.
I used to think the brain was the most interesting part of the body. Then I realized what was telling me that.
My boss told me, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.". I'm currently sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my batman costume!
Cyberbilly
I wish my lawn was emo. Then maybe it would cut itself.
Cyberbilly
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn't feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.