Funny Statuses

I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.

What if there's no such thing as the Placebo Effect, and instead, sugar just actually cures everything?

I don't have to ask my kids to call me. I just change the Netflix password and then don't respond to their texts.

A few days ago, Stephen Hawking predicted the earth has 1000 years to survive. Where will Keith Richards go if that happens?

I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?

Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear

Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?