Funny Statuses

We used to experiment with launching monkeys into space. Now it is CEOs. Progress.
#17741
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Florida
Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch.
#17745
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Florida
Ice cream truck driver is the only profession where's its socially acceptable to drive to neighborhoods and lure children.
#17760
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Kristian Alekov
I accidentally changed my GPS voice to “Male”. Now it just says “it’s around here somewhere, just keep driving”.
#17788
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Florida
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
When life gets you down, remember, At least I am not dumb enough to follow a striping truck down the highway AS IT PAINTS YELLOW LINES, ride the FRESHLY PAINTED yellow line & then be shocked there’s yellow paint on my car.
Is it possible that we were all a day off and God only took Macho Man? RIP Macho Man.
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