Jon
I was at a funeral today and I asked the priest for the WiFi password. "Have some respect for the dead!" he said. "Okay," I replied. "Is that all lower case without spaces?"
Robert Zunick
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
My favorite part about Halloween is seeing all the confused Jehovah's Witnesses wandering around, wondering why they've been given lolly pops.
Andrew Cooper
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Xyuppi
Sylvester Stallone is looking more and more like a G.I. Joe action figure that has been put in the microwave on high for 20 minutes.
If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?
My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.