Funny Statuses

There are two types of people: People who go to sleep on time and people who have Netflix.
Congress continues game of Truth or Dare, no one picks Truth.
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
Miracle Whip is a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me.
New iPad Air will also make your wallet way lighter.
I have a feeling my "check liver" light might be turning on soon.
Started from the bottom. Still pretty much there...
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