Go down a water slide while it isn't wet and you'll understand why foreplay is so important.
I wish people had a brightness setting.
Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic? He thought he was following someone.
I bet Jesus gets sick of the amount of wall post alerts he gets on Christmas.
If you think about it, James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman tickling each other would pretty much be the greatest thing ever.
Is it just me or are there way more handicapped parking spaces than handicapped drivers?
My parents told me I couldn't be a pirate when I grew up. My movie and music collection says otherwise.