me: It's not about how many times you fall. It's about how many times you get back up! cop: That's not how field sobriety tests work...
Xyuppi
I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
Xyuppi
I'm just glad chicken breast don't have nipples
Xyuppi
I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable because it was faster than being on hold with customer service.
Cyberbilly
You know you are old when people start telling you how young you look.
Ran into my ex yesterday. I could have sworn the light was green...
Xyuppi
I need a tax person who’s not afraid of prison.