Xyuppi
I’m going to start telling girls that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
Lag
I can't wait till the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they're jerks.
Xyuppi
It's such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
Florida
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
Xyuppi
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not as funny when you live by yourself.