Funny Statuses

They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Well, nothing has killed me yet, and I can still barely open a jar of olives.

Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often

I'm still a bit shaken up. I was involved in a violent mugging this afternoon. On the plus side I did make $23 and I think the watch looks really good on me.

“Erectile Dysfunction” is such a harsh term. Why not just call it “Sleepy Peepee?”

5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian roulette.

I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, will, read, this, like William, Shatner.

I wish I could lose weight as fast as I lose motivation