My wife left me with my 6 year old and my 3 year old... and as if that's not bad enough, she left the 6 year old in charge.
Remember when someone following you was bad?
I’m not procrastinating. I just haven’t finished doing nothing yet.
It's pretty cool that neck tattoo's say the same thing in every language. "I'm not getting the job am I?"
I spend 40 hours a week in the friend zone, therefore I'm entitled to benefits!
What's with all the excessive tanning on Jersey Shore? If I wanted to see talking carrots, I'd watch Veggie Tales.
I think this is the year that Santa will finally replace Rudolph with a Tom Tom.