Xyuppi
There is nothing like blowing up fireworks made in China to celebrate America's independence.
Florida
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
Xyuppi
Picking your nose doesn't make you a bad person, but what you do with the booger will define you.
Kristian Alekov
Every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.
My therapist told me my narcissism causes me to misread social situations, but I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
Weed is now legal in Canada. In other news, Taco Bell announces 697 new stores in Canada.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died. The service will be held at 350 for about 20 minutes.