Xyuppi
It's impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
Xyuppi
When I hear, 9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans, I think there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches.
Xyuppi
Watched five movies on Netflix last night and now my "recommended for you" queue is "pay some bills" and "clean the bathroom"
Xyuppi
Kid's Choice Awards are a great reminder why children aren't allowed to vote.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Xyuppi
I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia.
Jon
"Wife dragged me to this theater. Somebody shoot me." -Abraham Lincoln's last Tweet.