Cyberbilly
I'm not good in relationships. My last relationship ended when I didn't open the car door for her. Instead I just swam up to the surface.
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.
Cyberbilly
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f'ing Mayans better be right…
This Halloween, I think I'll just set out a bit empty bowl that says "take one". That way all the kids will think some jerk took it all.
Cyberbilly
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'