I'm not that bright. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate!" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.
As a kid I was less concerned about Goldilock's safety than I was about Mama and Papa bear not sleeping in the same bed anymore.
If something were better than the leading brand, then it would be the leading brand.
My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked breakfast. Me: Can we get one?
Whether I have good dreams or bad dreams, waking up is always worse
I wish my phone had a Please Disturb setting.
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.