*Shifty eyes* Im gonna hide my number and stalker text my mother…nah thats cruel she’s old *scrolls through my phone for my aunt*
One time at a rock concert I actually rocked out with my cock out. Turns out music clubs frown on Roosters in attendance.
Tomorrow marks the 207th anniversary of the Burr-Hamilton duel. Given current political impasses, why can't we bring this tradition back?
C'mon Pac-Man, make her a Mrs. already!
When people tell me to put 2 and 2 together, I tell them "That's 22. It's only 4 when you add them." Then they walk away defeated.
That guy is such a douchebag! Is he single? Maybe I can fix him!" - women
I hate when my variety pack of Band-Aids runs low and I have to make sure that any cuts I get fit the remaining sizes.