My alarm clock stopped working, so I'll be setting the microwave for 8 hours while I sleep on the kitchen floor.
Some people should come with subtitles.
I wonder if I'd love my step ladder more if it were my real ladder.
Don't play dumb with me. That's a game you can't win.
Robert Zunick
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, “I like where I wake up to always be a surprise.”
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she'll get your paychecks.