In school, the only thing group projects ever taught me was that I hate other people.
What's the smoothest way to tell your dinner date that she has to get something of equal or lesser value?
Tangled earbuds are the new rubik's cube.
Don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, and my attitude depends on who you are.
There are two kinds of people I don't trust. Schizophrenics.
Trying to lose a little weight so my pants aren't so tight. Never thought I'd be trying to get into my own pants...
Your head is always over your heels.