ZYuppi
I won't consider myself successful until someone follows me around with a cooler of gatorade to dump over my head whenever I win at anything.
ZYuppi
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.
I apologize for the coin shortage. I started a swear jar......
Xyuppi
The best thing about dating a homeless woman is that you can drop her off anywhere.
Xyuppi
I just realized why this month it’s call May. It may rain, it may snow, it may be 70 degrees or it may be 20 degrees.
Xyuppi
I learned to cook just so I had an excuse not to do dishes.
Kristian Alekov
I weigh myself fully naked. If you don’t like it you can go to a different Publix.