Dirty pop songs are only acceptable in the car because the teenagers think the parents are to old to get the lyrics and the parents think the kids are too young to understand.
Sometimes asking if there's anything good on television is like asking if there's anything delicious in the toilet.
"If it ain't broke, break it." - Facebook programmers
Started a program to encourage women to camp outdoors. What’s weird is that guys keep signing up for our “Girls Gone Wild” adventures.
After I found out my tailor had been sleeping with my wife I said, "I don't ever want to see you again." He said, "Fine, suit yourself."
The most terrifying question a woman can ask a man is: Notice anything different?
maxpowers
Cell phones ruined pushing people in the pool.