Funny Statuses

Apple is now valued at 1 trillion dollars which is the same as the GDP of Florida, but that's comparing Apple's to oranges.
#17281
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Xyuppi
It bothers me that someone may steal my identity and use it to make thousands of dollars behind my back. It mostly bothers me because I currently have my identity and can't figure out how to do that..
#17672
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Xyuppi
I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids. When I got home, they were still there.
William Shatner has discontinued his new line of ladies lingerie. Apparently "Shatner Panties" wasn't the best choice for a name.
Is it gluttonous for nuns to get the refillable large popcorn and drink at the cinema?
Since M. Night Shyamalan's all about movies that end with a twist, he should just make a movie that viewers enjoy.
I think it's time I came out the closet! Looks like I've won this game of hide & seek.
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