Funny Statuses

I'm willing to bet that if Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones ever had a rap battle, it would be the most relaxing thing ever.

Last night I went to a testicular cancer survivor party. Everyone had a ball.

I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.

Lets be honest Chuck Norris is an actor. If he were really good he would come to my house and smack my head on the keyboa<HG#+fgg'fgth$&%%{€

Parking your new fancy car in 2 spots doesn't protect it. It makes it a target.

I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.

I was woken up again last night by the bulimic girl next door. I banged on the wall and shouted, "For God's sake, keep it down!"