For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction. - Newton's law of the Internet
I want a closed-casket funeral when I die. And in case anyone opens it, I want one of those boxing gloves on a spring to shoot out.
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you're being chased by a giant spider.
Duct tape doesn't fix stupidity, but it definitely muffles the sound.
I regret nothing but mostly because I can't remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
We should be thanking our Dads for bringing us into the world, not our Moms. She probably wasn't in the mood...
How do they tell if Facebook employees are procrastinating?