I like to pretend that there isn't a sports team called the Giants, and instead read everyone's statuses as if we lost a war with the mythical race of large people. "THE GIANTS WON!!! OH DEAR GOD!!!"
If you want something to be misinterpreted, post it on the Internet.
I don't know how to sugarcoat this, but...you have diabetes.
When books were first invented I'll bet some people would pretentiously say, I liked the book but the traveling storyteller was much better.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
I don't understand why people get angry when someone breaks up with them by text. I used to break up with people by never talking to them again.
I'm not saying that I've been on the internet too long today, I'm just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts