Amigo
I like to post ads on Craigslist. "IPhone 5s for $20!" Along with the number of people who annoy me...
The internet at my house stopped working. I called my service provider but the number is no longer working. When I looked out the window, I notice my neighbors were moving. I guess that explains it!
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
Harley Steele
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
Amigo
I am constantly putting things where they don’t belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people.
Amigo
Condoms do NOT guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.