Funny Statuses

#8670
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Amigo
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. "Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you."
Casual, but fun. An extra "t" there can ruin your night.
My kid: Why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check? Me: I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 1st of the month.
#9911
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Novell
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
If you have a dog grooming business and didn't name it "Doggie Style" then something is seriously wrong with you.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Do you, take Ted the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?
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