Amigo
Everyone keeps telling me to never succumb to peer pressure. So I'm going to take their advice and not listen to them.
When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
Amigo
* packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip * unpacks 3 months after coming home
Amigo
“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play God with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
Amigo
My car doesn’t have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you.