Cyberbilly
Women always complain that "all men are dogs", but what they fail to realize is that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
When parents on Facebook post about how they can't believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he'd be held back!"
Cyberbilly
I hate when people take my glasses and say "Wow! You really can't see!" I'm like no kidding. I don't take a person's wheelchair and say "Wow! You really can't walk!"
Xyuppi
Gift cards are still the best way to say "I'm too lazy to think of a good gift and I think you'll buy drugs if I give you cash."
Xyuppi
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
Xyuppi
First, Lady Gaga shows up at the VMA's covered in meat. Then arrives at the Grammy's in an egg. She's only about two red carpets away from being a Denny's Grand Slam.
Xyuppi
drove past the drug rehab center today and was rather amused by the sign out front - "Keep off the grass".