Dear Zombies, Why not just eat other zombies? Sincerely, non-zombies.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We're all excited for the ride until we realize what it's like where we're going.
Of course I have a date for Valentine's Day! It's February 14th, just like every year...
I wish I had somebody to blame all of my problems on, like my wife does.
I remember when "selfies" were called "nobody else wants to take my picture."