In America anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
Xyuppi
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
Xyuppi
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
Xyuppi
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it's a two-star hotel.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k. I don’t think I can run that far...
PizzaDr
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left behind by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.