Amigo
To do list: Buy CD of ice cream truck music. Drive down the street blasting it. Watch kids get disappointed.
Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
I heard Chipotle is offering a new Ravens burrito. It has everything on it but Rice.
Amigo
I’ve accepted that I’ll never get back to my original weight. After all, when you think about it, 6 lbs. 3 oz. is pretty unrealistic
Besides Watermelon, there should be Firemelon, Airmelon and Earthmelon: The four Elemelons.
I don't understand why people pay therapists when I'll tell them what's wrong with them for free.
I've never had a better karate instructor than a spider web.