Amigo
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
When I watch CNN I think, "Why can't we give peace a chance?" When I watch TLC I think, "Let's kill everything and start over again."
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second rule has now been increased to 10.
My wife and I are pretty upset. It looks like someone broke in and surfed porn on my computer. They didn't touch anything else, so that's good.
Sit-ups are my favorite form of exercise because I get to lay down every few seconds.
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure and that I'd want it if there was.