When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
Sometimes I sneak up on my alarm when it's sleeping and yell "how does it feel!?"
Some people deserve to get eggs thrown at them. Brick shaped eggs...made of bricks
Being a virgin in this day and age is something to be proud of. You're like a freaking unicorn.
I love Christmas because I can point at people & scream, "HO! HO! HO!" & claim I was just being festive.
I'm sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids, why don't that have a Beer Truck for adults?