I like how the kids in E.T. keep pedaling the whole time they're on the flying bikes. Just in case.
So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it's time to eat again.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.
Amigo
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
I'd like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you're like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you're from Alabama)
For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.