Wanna get some amusement today? Tell your mom to make sure she rewinds that DVD before she puts it away.
What if Hello Kitty is actually Hero Kitty in Japan and we're just being presumptuous with our pronunciation?
The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.
My grandfather was ½ Cherokee. When he danced, it just got really cloudy...
Just saw an old pic of my pregnant mom standing by a microwave with a cigarette in one hand & a beer in the other. Which explains EVERYTHING!
When the Space Shuttle lands, everybody wear ape suits.
I'm getting a mistletoe tramp stamp so everyone knows they can kiss my ass.