Novell
The self checkout line was invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons.
Novell
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.
Novell
I'm looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
Xyuppi
I would like to think that I'll die heroic death saving someone's life but it's more likely I'll trip over my shoelaces and choke on a spoonful of Nutella.
Xyuppi
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1:00 PM and 2017.
On average, a person has sex 86 times a year. Apparently, this is going to be one hell of a week.
Xyuppi
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. I got a nice Rolex from my lesbian neighbors. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch...